Monday 28 December

Roy's funeral was at 11.30am on Tuesday, 22 December, at Needham Market Parish Church, and it seemed just right. The body was in a handsome willow casket topped by a Christmas wreath chosen by Helen, and Harry and a couple of friends were among the pallbearers. It was very cold. Travelling conditions were awful in general and varied all over the country, but lots of people managed to join us nevertheless.

The service, taken by the local vicar, included tributes by two old friends -- one personal, the other a business associate (at least to begin with) -- as well as a friend's reading of the poem 'Osso Buco' by American poet Billy Collins that dealt with his love of food. Kate and Harry did Bible readings. Gabriel (10) and Isabel (8) read the short bidding prayers that were (not to be flippant) the star turn of the occasion.

After the service the family drove to Ipswich Crematorium for the committal. This took one and a half hours. Meanwhile, the congregation was invited to the church hall for refreshments. A local friend and favourite caterer oversaw things, aided and abetted by numerous other friends who cooked and/or served food or greeted visitors. There were mugs of hot butternut squash and sweet potato soup or tea and coffee or wine. Savoury pastries and cheese biscuits or brownies, fruitcake and shortbread. Loads of delicious sandwiches and a whole quivering Brie cheese wheel -- something Roy always insisted on for state occasions like Kate and Chris's wedding or his 80th birthday. I think he'd have been well pleased with everything.

Over the last few weeks I have been surrounded by the love of family and friends from all over the place and all periods of my life, thanks to the wonders of the internet in addition to the usual old-fashioned methods of communication. Thanks for all the contributions to Cancer Campaign in Suffolk in his memory. And God bless you. More in the New Year.

Although Roy was diagnosed with prostate cancer when he was 60 and it had metastisised by the 2000s, and although along the way he had picked up a number of other ailments requiring 7 or 8 tablets a day, his chief problem recently seemed to be his knees. He needed replacements but his heart conditions wouldn't allow surgery. He walked everywhere with a Leki walking stick and there were grips all over the house to help him up or down the steps from room to room. And although he spent a lot of time watching chewing gum TV from his reclining chair, he still managed trips to the grocery store and worked at the computer daily dealing with book orders from his website, etc.

So when he fell in the middle of the night on 27 November and ended up in the hospital, we thought it would be dealt with quickly and weren't overly worried. But his condition deteriorated rapidly after the first few days. The death certificate listed sepsis, renal failure and terminal prostate cancer as causes.

He certainly challenged the passing of the light: he took out a 5 year maintenance contract on our recently installed stairlift, and in mid November he signed up for a week's cookery course in Puglia, Italy for the first week of May 2010!

Follow the link below to view the order of service:
http://www.geewizdesign.co.uk/dad/docs/OofS_181209_Layout_01.pdf

13 December 2009

Roy died from renal failure & pneumonia backed up by other problems including prostate cancer. His funeral service will be at 11:30 on Tuesday, 22 December, at the Needham Market parish church, St John the Baptist. Committal afterwards (family only) at Ipswich Crematorium & the congregation are invited to a reception at the Ark (the church hall). For any further details please get in touch with me.

Kate & Harry were with me all last week & they have dealt with all the overwhelming paperwork -- personal & business, all of which he conducted online at a level beyond my very basic competence.

Thanks for your prayers & phone calls, e-mails & cards. They have consoled us immensely, & many of the reminiscences of his ways have brought us considerable laughter. Keep them coming!

December 8 2009

Roy died in Ipswich hospital on Monday, 7 December, after a short illness. Kate, Harry and I were at his bedside as we had been since they came home the preceding Saturday, and he was comfortable and not in pain. They are staying to help me with paper and computer work --indeed, to deal with virtually all of it --over the next few days.

The good news is that when I saw my oncologist on Friday, 27 November (the day after Roy went into the hospital), an x-ray showed that my lung tumour had shrunk a bit and the entire lung looked slightly better. Dr Podd said that I am a miracle.

Needless to say, we have had loving support from all our friends. But we have a long way to go as we haven't received the death certificate yet.